Team: Alex Stout, Brad King, Cameron george, Justin Berger

Ext. Space - viewing earth

Action (CSI-Like) music

Wide shot of Earth from outer space. Camera flies into Area 51.

Cross Fade

EXT. AREA 51 - BUILDING - SUNRISE

Transition to ground-level (shoulder height) shot.

PETE walks (¿drives and parks then walks?) into one of the buildings of the Area 51 site with a (¿cardboard carrier containing coffee cups?) coffee cup in one hand, doughnut(s) in the other.

INT. AREA 51 - BUILDING - SUNRISE

Multiple shots (pans / tracks / something unique) following PETE through the building lobby to an elevator.

Insert - Hand pressing Elevator Button

PETE presses the "Top Secret" elevator button and spills coffee on his shirt.

PETE

(Irritated, Tired, kind of cheesy)

Aah, darn it...

He tries to wipe it as the elevator begins its descent.

PETE

Just had this dry-cleaned.

The elevator seems to take a little longer than your average elevator.  It arrives at his desired level.

OTS - out the elevator into the hallway.

He proceeds off into the hallway which appears to be infinite in length. There are doors to the left and to the right every 10 feet or so. And several hallways that branch off to the right.

OTS tracking - following PETE

A man, TOM, comes out of one of the branching hallways (¿manilla folders in hand? ¿briefcase?) and is walking toward PETE.

PETE

(tired)

Hey, Tom.

TOM

(Grinning)

Hi, Pete! Any luck at the tables last night?

PETE

(Under his Breath)

Had luck with your wife.

TOM

What's that?


Pete

(Loud and Clear)

I said Gambling is my life!

Tom

(fading into background, smiling)

Oh, amen brother. Amen.

tracking along side of PETE. Once a certain door is reached, the camera stops in its track and PETE continues in his direction off camera.

Lying in front of the door is a rolled up newspaper.

Music fades out

hold shot still for just a moment longer...

ARTIE opens the door wearing a robe and grabs the newspaper.  He goes back into his room and closes the door.


int. Artie's room

ARTIE's room is straight out of the 50's; old furniture  and yellow wallpaper are key components.  he has a radio playing news and/or 50's tunes.

Artie opens up the newspaper.

insert - newspaper date

The date on the newspaper reads "JULY 28TH, 1953" and the main headline reads "KOREAN WAR IS OVER!"  You can hear President Eisenhower on the radio talking about the end of the war.

Artie seems to skip the main story and go deep into the paper. He takes a sip of coffee then a story catches his eye and he spits out his coffee.

insert - ad advertising pet store giving away free puppies.

Artie

(Excited, Disbelief)

They're giving away free puppies!?

He checks the time (watch or clock).

Artie

I have to work..maybe I'll have time on Saturday.

He begins getting ready for work. See him fixing collar of Janitor outfit,  Shaving with old school razor, brushing teeth, combing hair (whatever we can get to work).

Int. Hallway - outside Artie's room

medium wide (from side) - Artie closing and locking door

Artie leaves his room, closes and locks his door.  He walks down the hallway whistling.

medium wide (from side) - Artie approaches and opens another door.

Artie reaches his Janitor's closet. and pulls out his Janitor cart (or mop).

Montage of Artie cleaning.  Show him cleaning some normal things at first like the break room (spills and messy tables) then the bathroom (someone defecated in the urinal, or on the floor by the toilet).  No matter what it is, it doesn't seem to phase him.

Next we see Artie walking into a laboratory (Glass windows, lab tables, beakers, operating tables, sciency stuff). There is a line of beds each containing a different dead alien.

track along the beds

Each bed has a label of the name of the Alien or where it came from.  Then the last table has an old chubby man wearing a suit and the name reads "RUSH LIMBAUGH" (¿"DICK CHENEY"?).

track stops on rush limbaugh's bed.

Artie cleans the lab, putting tools away, cleaning up weird Goos and oozes and such.

Long Cross Dissolve

Int. janitor's closet

Artie puts his supplies away. Closes and locks the door.

Int. outside Artie's room

Artie approaches his door. As his next-door neighbor, SCOOTER, approaches his door.

SCOOTER

Oh, hey Artie! Just getting home from work?

Artie

Yup, another hard day's night.

SCOOTER

I hear ya.

Artie begins entering his room.

SCOOTER

Oh Artie, I just finished baking some cookies.  I'll bring ya over a plate real quick.

Artie

Okay, just walk in.

INT. Scooter's Room

SCOOTER goes into his room which is the same layout as Artie's but not so dated. You can hear a TV playing in the background.

SCOOTER grabs a plate of cookies and pours a glass of milk. He pulls out a small packet containing a white powder.  He tears open the packet and pours the powder into the milk.

insert - pouring powder into milk

INT. Artie's Room

Artie is sitting at the kitchen table still obsessing over the ad for a free puppy.

SCOOTER enters the room with the cookie's and milk.

Artie doesn't even look over at SCOOTER. He keeps his eyes on the newspaper.

Artie

(disbelief)

Can you believe this?

SCOOTER

Yeah, the war's finally over.

SCOOTER puts the cookies down on the table near ARTIE and directly hands him the milk.

Artie

No, they're giving away free puppies down at Davey's Pet Store this week.

Artie drinks some of the milk.

Scooter

(confused)

Oh..really?

Artie

Yeah, I should have time on Saturday to go get me one. I've been thinking I could use some company around here.

SCooter

(feeling bad)

Yeah, puppies are great. That's a good idea, Artie.

Artie nods and finishes his milk. He doesn't touch the cookies.

There's a moment of awkward silence.

Scooter

Well Artie, I'd better get out of your hair. Another big day tomorrow.

ARTIE finally looks at SCOOTER.

Artie

Yeah, at least tomorrow's Friday. I'll have me a new roommate come Saturday.

SCOOTER looks a little distraught.

CLOSE UP: scooter's distraught expression

SCOOTER

Alright, well, we'll see ya.

ARTIE stands to walk him to the door. SCOOTER begins toward the door.

SCOOTER walks out.

Artie

Good night, Scooter.

SCOOTER

Good night, Artie.

int. in the hallway

Medium: from across the hall.

Scooter walks from Artie's room to his own room.

INT. SCOOTER'S ROOM

Scooter walks over toward the TV which is on and plops down onto the couch.

Angle from the side of scooter with malvin behind scooter and out of sight. once scooter sits, malvin is center frame.

They both sit there and watch the TV for a second.

SCOOTER

I feel kind of bad for him, ya know?

MALVIN

(uninterested)

Huh?

Scooter looks at Malvin.


Scooter

Artie, I mean.  He deserves better than this...he deserves a real life, you know? The chance to meet people, the chance to experience variety.

You hear some girls yelling, bleeps, and fighting on the reality TV show that's playing on the TV.

MALVIN

(excited)

Oh, you go girl.

SCOOTER

(unphased by MALVIN's disinterest)

Maybe meet a girl.. n' get a puppy.

MALVIN

(slightly interested, confused)

What? A puppy?

SCOOTER

Yeah, he thinks he's getting a puppy on Saturday.  Even though today's Saturday.

Malvin

Stop giving him the drug then.

SCOOTER

(surprised)

Do you really think that's a good idea?

MALVIN

Yeah, why not?

SCOOTER

(unsure)

I just don't know what kind of repercussions that could have.  What if he loses it and Big Brother finds out?

MALVIN

Eh, that won't happen.

SCOOTER

(decided)

Okay, tomorrow is the start of a new life for Artie.

MALVIN

Okay, now less talk and more Jersey.  Snooki is about to get smoosh smoosh.

Fade to black

INT. HALLWAY - OUTSIDE ARTIE'S ROOM

Fade From Black

This is a sped up version of the previous scene.  I really want the sense of a fast pace through ARTIE's day. Lots of quick cuts.

There's a newspaper in front of Artie's door.  Artie opens the door and snatches the newspaper. 

insert: Newspaper date

He's sitting at the kitchen table and spits his coffee.

ARTIE

(Same excitement)

They're giving away free puppies!?

MEDIUM WIDE: FROM SIDE - ARTIE CLOSING & LOCKING DOOR.

ARTIE approaches Janitor closet and opens it. Grabs cleaning cart (or mop). Cleans up same messes. Different Alien bodies on the beds.  Last body is Bjork (or someone else funny and easy to insert) (¿Michael Jackson?).

Artie puts away the cleaning cart. Closes door.  Approaches his door as SCOOTER approaches his own door.

SCOOTER

Oh, hey Artie.

CLOSE UP: Scooter

SCOOTER

Cookies?

ARTIE

Okay, Just walk in.

INT. SCOOTER'S Kitchen

SCOOTER in his kitchen, pours milk. Pulls out powder pack.

Insert: Powder Pack in Scooter's hand

SCOOTER looks at the packet for a moment then decides to put the packet in a drawer (¿on table top or in pocket?).

INT. ARTIE'S Kitchen

SCOOTER walks in.

ARTIE

Can you believe this?

SCOOTER

(a little unsure)

Yeah, the war's over?

SCOOTER hands the milk to Artie.

ARTIE

No, they're giving away free puppies down at Davey's pet store this week.

ARTIE drinks the milk.

SCOOTER

I'd better get out of your hair.

INT. HALLWAY - OUTSIDE ARTIE'S ROOM

Artie

Good night, Scooter.

Scooter

Good night, Artie.

Fade to Black

INT. HALLWAY - OUTSIDE ARTIE'S ROOM

Medium wide: from straight across the hallway

There's no newspaper on the ground in front of Artie's door.  SCOOTER is leaning against the wall next to Artie's door holding the newspaper waiting for Artie to come out.  SCOOTER checks his watch then ARTIE opens the door wearing his robe. SCOOTER stands straight.

SCOOTER

Hey, Artie, can we talk?

ARTIE

(surprised)

Uhh, sure. Come in.

They enter ARTIE's room.

INT. ARTIE'S KITCHEN

SCOOTER approaches the table as ARTIE approaches the counter top to get some coffee. The radio is playing the same old thing.

ARTIE

Hmm, that's yesterday's news.

ARTIE turns off the radio.

SCOOTER

(nervous)

Look, Artie..

ARTIE

Coffee?

SCOOTER

No thanks. Look, there's something I need to tell you.  It's going to be hard at first, but you'll thank me in the long run.

ARtie

Sure, Scooter what is it?

SCOOTER's cell phone rings. SCOOTER, irritated, reaches into his pocket and pulls out the cell phone.

SCOOTER

(irritated)

Ugh, hang on...

He puts the phone to his ear.

SCOOTER

What is it Malvin?

malvin

(through the phone)

The cable's out. Will you talk to your brother to get it back on?

SCOOTER

(irritated, grunts)

Yeah, Malvin. I'll let him know.

He hangs up the phone.

SCOOTER

Sorry, one more second, Artie.

ARTIE nods and sips his coffee.

SCOOTER dials a number and puts the phone to his ear.

INT. BIG BROTHER's OFFICE

Cut to BIG BROTHER's office.  It's a nice office.  This guy is an important, decorated fed. BIG BROTHER is sitting at his desk. A hot secretary is standing very close to him.

BIG BROTHER

(seductive, to SECRETARY)

Oh, the hole's on you I could probe.

The secretary giggles as the phone on his desk begins to ring.

BIG BROTHER answers the phone.

BIG BROTHER

Not now, Terry, I'm with my secretary...Oh Scooter?...Uh huh... I see...for Jersey Shore, I take it? Mhmm, sure thing Scoots...Where did mom and dad go so wrong with you and so right with me?

He quickly interrupts SCOOTER on the phone and speaks fast.

BIG BROTHER

They love me more.

BIG BROTHER quickly hangs up the phone.

BIG BROTHER

Where was I?

INT. ARTIE'S KITCHEN

SCOOTER irritated hangs up the phone and puts it away.

SCOOTER

Sorry. K, look Artie, the thing is,

ARTIE is now sitting at the table.

SCOOTER

This newspaper that you read isn't real. The news on the radio isn't real. Your 50s lifestyle is a fake.

ARTIE interrupts.

ARTIE

(confused)

If this is some kind of intervention, I won't have it.

SCOOTER

No, no. Artie,

SCOOTER hands ARTIE the newspaper.

SCOOTER

We've been telling you every day for the last 4 years that the year is 1953.  You've awakened every day, thinking it's the same day, working 7 days a week, never celebrating holidays, never remembering anyone you meet.

ARTIE

(shocked)

This can't be...

SCOOTer

(concerned)

I know.  It's a lot to take in.

ARTIE

(shocked)

So, what year is it?

SCOOTEr

It's 2011.  America is at war in the middle east, the President is black, and reality TV has made Americans dumber than fish.

There's a fish in the fish bowl on the counter.

CLOSE UP of fish

Fish

(offended)

Hey, I heard that.

CLOSE UP: ARTIE

ARTIE

(near to tears)

So this means I don't get a free puppy?

Zoom from medium to close up: SCOOTer

SCOOTER

(determined)

No, Artie. We're going to get you your puppy.

INT. SCOOTER'S ROOM

Medium: malvin on the couch

MALVIN is sitting on the couch staring at the TV.

from inside the room: medium wide of the door

The door opens and SCOOTER walks in (leans in?).

SCOOTER

Come on, Malvin. Let's make like a hippie and blow this joint!

MALVIN

Is it Four-Twenty already?

MEDIUM: the tv changes from static (snow) back to clean picture of jersey shore.

MALvin

Oh, not now. Cable's back on.

SCOOTer

Really? Jersey Shore over the real world?

Malvin

Well yeah, the next season of the Real World isn't on 'til next month.

SCOOTEr

Dammit, Malvin, We're leaving Area 51.

ZOOM IN to close up of SCooter:

SCOOTER

(deep serious voice)

Artie needs a puppy.

MALVIN

Oh, well if you put it like that, yeah, let's do this.

Int. Elevator

The three of them are standing on the elevator. Elevator music plays in the background.

Malvin

Can we go to Magic Mountain?

SCOOTER

No, Malvin, that's like 6 hours away.

Elevator Music.

Malvin

Can we go to the Chip and Dale show at Hard Rock Hotel?

SCOOTER

Malvin, seriously?

MALVIN

Well, we've gotta do something while we're free.

Elevator Music.

Malvin

Can I at least get a slurpee?

EXT. AREA 51 - BUILDING - SUNrise

The three of them exit the building and get into a car.

zoom out: dissolve into camera monitor

Int. Security monitoring room

Continue zoom out to ots of man viewing monitors.

SECURITY GUARD picks up phone and calls BIG BROTHER.

SECUrity GUARD

Sir, we have a situation.

INT. BIG BROTHER'S OFFICE

The secretary is wearing less clothes.

BIG BROTHER

(pissed off)

Dammit, Scooter!

BIG BROTHER gathers himself.

BIG BROTHER

Bring Scooter and the alien back alive.

Cut back to security guard

SECURITY GUARD

And the Janitor, sir?

Cut back to Big brother

ZOOM Into close up of big brother

BIG BROTHER

(deep serious voice)

Kill the Janitor.

EXT. Outside the car

The car is driving down a desert road.

(if we can actually have the models acting inside the car, super, otherwise just shoot the outside of the car as they talk).

SCOOTER

K, Artie, there's a pet store just on the edge of town.  We'll be there in about 5 minutes.

ARTIE

(heartfelt)

Wow, this is great, Scooter.  You're a true friend.

There's a broken down car on the side of the road ahead.

SCOOTER

These guys look like they need a hand.

MALVIN

Really, Scoots? Now's not exactly the best time to be a good semaritan.

The car pulls up to the broken down vehicle.

Cross dissolve

The car is driving down the desert road again.

A black suburban (or sedan?) comes flying onto the desert road in pursuit of their car.

The feds catch up and ram the car a couple times until they make it roll (wreck in some way).

FED #1 approaches the wrecked car and looks inside.

He looks back to FED #2 standing by the suburban.

FEd #1

It's not them.

EXt. Outside the car that was broken down - early morning

The car that was broken down is pulling into the pet store parking lot.

ARTIE

So have you done this before?

SCOOTER

Mmm, let's just say I always know how to stay one step ahead of my brother.

The car parks. They all get out.

SCOOTER

K Artie, just go around back and walk in the back door.  Malvin will unlock it with his mind. We'll stay out front and watch for company. The store opens in a half hour so make it quick. The clerk will show up at any time.

ARTIE walks around the building

medium wide: At the back of the building

ARTIE approaches and enters the back door.

INT. PET STORE - Early morning.

It's kind of dark inside the pet store.  ARTIE has to walk down a hallway to get to the showroom floor of the store.

wide: from end of hallway as artie walks toward camera

wide: showroom floor of pet store.

ARTIE walks out from hallway into showroom. ARTIE looks around for a second and whistles for the dogs.

Puppies bark.

ARTIE

(Excited)

There you are!

ARTIE approaches a pen of puppies.

Worm's Eye: from inside puppy pen up to artie.

ARTIE reaches down for the puppies (reaching at the camera)...

BANG!

ARTIE's head explodes with blood.

medium: side of fed and artie

ARTIE's body falls limp to the floor.

FED #1 speaks to his wrist.

FED #1

I got the Janitor.

BIG BROTHER

Well done.  Return back to base.

fed #1

Copy.

cross dissolve

EXT. Suburban driving back to area 51 - morning

SCOOTER

I just don't get why you guys had to kill him?

FED #1

He's a janitor for crying out loud. Who cares?

SCOOTEr

I care! He was a good man and just wanted a god damn puppy!

Quiet.

MALVIN

Can we still stop for slurpees?

Dissolve

INT. BIG BROTHER'S OFFICE

The door opens and FED #1, FED #2, MALVIN, and SCOOTER walk in.

BIG BROTHER stays seated at his desk.

The feds and MALVIN are each holding a cup. SCOOTER is not.

SCOOTER

(angry)

You had to kill him, Frank?

BIG BROTHER

(stern)

Yes, Scooter. He was a threat.

In the background, or off to the side: MALVIN raises his cup to his mouth. You hear a loud slurp.

SCOOTER

We were just getting him a puppy! We were coming back!

BIG BROTHER

Yeah, but what about the next time he decides he needs something from out there, huh?

SCOOTER

He wouldn't have wanted anything! He just needed a little...

BIG BROTHER cuts him off.

BIG BROTHER

We're not having this conversation, Scooter. 

To the feds:

BIG BROTHER

Take them back to their room. Don't let them out for a month.

SCOOTER

A month!?

FED #2 escorts SCOOTER and MALVIN out of the room. As SCOOTER gets escorted.

SCOOTER

FRANK! ... FRANK! ...

The door closes.

BIG BROTHER

Get another clone from the freezer.  We have some messes that need cleaning.

FED #1

Right away, sir.

FED #1 walks toward the door.

CLOSE UP:

BIG BROTHER talking to himself:


BIG BROTHER

We'll see who's one step ahead, Scooter.

A grin grows across his face.

Fade to black

Or long cross dissolve

INT. HALLWAY - OUTSIDE ARTIE'S ROOM

PETE walks past ARTIE's door.  There's a newspaper on the floor in front of the door.

ARTIE CLONE opens the door and picks up the newspaper. And closes the door.

FADE to BLACK

                       ROLL CREDITS

INT. HALLWAY - OUTSIDE ARTIE'S ROOM

You hear ARTIE CLONE from the hallway through the door spit out his coffee.

ARTIE CLONE

(Excited, disbelief)

They're giving away free puppies!?